Internet Stoopid

Everyone has that one stupid thing that makes them laugh uncontrollably clutching their stomach on the floor. You might not want to say so out loud, but you do.

Admit it. ADMIT IT. 

This post is dedicated to those stupid things that we all secretly love on the internet and watch on loop on Youtube. And hey speaking of dumb loop videos, I have an old favorite that just might fit the bill.

A few years back, the online dating app Zoosk had a commercial air about a woman and a horrible first date with a "Pro Dart player." During this date the Dart guy is bragging about his abilities, then promptly chucks a dart into another guy's chest.

I'm just gonna leave this here.

Not gonna lie. I die every time I see that poor impaled man's face. The look of pure shock and incredulity holds a special place in my heart. Oh...poor phrasing.

These dumb internet things can be found almost anywhere, but my personal favorite hunting ground is YouTube. There is so much dumb stuff to laugh at. So little time.

Jump to :35 for the money shot.

But it's not just YouTube that make us laugh. Some of the best dumb things on the internet actually come from TV. Take for instance the Mercedes Super Bowl commercial featuring chickens with some very impressive dance moves.

You WISH you had moves like that.

When I saw this commercial I was in the middle of eating a particularly guacamole laden chip. Let's just say I never got a chance to finish it (guacamole everywhere). I'm not sure what about this commercial I find so funny. Maybe its the deadpan expression of the chicken. Or maybe its because I tried to imagine the Mercedes Marketing Team presenting this idea.

"Hey boss, so we had this great idea.....Dancing Chickens."

Either way these videos do nothing to advance humanity. They don't convey messages of peace, love, or friendship. They are dumb. They are stupid. And we love every second of them.

Productivity Panic

So I don't know if any of you have had this problem or not, but stop me if this sounds familiar. You have the sudden urge to be productive above and beyond the norm. You start thinking about how awesome it would be to accomplish all the little things that you've been meaning to do, and start to make a list. The only thing is, the more you write down on that list, the more you start to panic.

SO. MUCH. STUFF.

What started out as just a few things to do has turned into a 500 page manifesto of things you've been putting off but really, really shouldn't have. Remember that maintenance light in the car? How about that Change of Address form since you moved again?  Oh and don't forget about that growing mass in your closet known as "laundry."

The thing is, writing all this stuff down is supposed to make you feel more organized and capable of doing it all. But all I seem to have succeeded in doing was giving myself an ulcer. Please pass the Pepto.