Interpreting Craigslist

Craigslist is a treasure trove of free ellipticals, anonymous sex ads, and used cars. But for the savvy renter, Craigslist is also a haven of unfound gems on the housing market. Now I'm pretty good at this whole Craigslist thing, but I think there are a few details that need to be examined here. Like when I click on "cozy cottage with great personality," I get this.

Complete with adjacent vacant lot. 

What makes people think that tricking innocent unsuspecting Criagslisters into clicking on a home worthy of the Munsters will end well? I mean yeah I probably should have guessed a 2 bedroom place for less than $700 wouldn't exactly be the most glamorous thing but come on!

The crème de la crème was the "2 bedroom apartment for the eccentric taste," early in my Craigslist hunt. Great location. Parking garage. 2 bed 2 bath. So eager. So naïve. 

My future roommate and I arrived at a dirty entrance somewhere between a hole in the wall and a rat's nest. Not to judge a book by it's cover, we proceeded with the viewing. After ascending three flights of stairs, and stumbling down a dimly lit hallway straight out of the Shining, we arrived at the unit. The landlord sheepishly opens the door and my jaw hits the dirty carpeted floor. Exposed cinder blocks...with no windows. No, literally, there were no windows at this place. 

Imagine this. But everywhere.

At this point the landlord is explaining the additional charges for the place. An extra $100 here, another $90 there, but who's counting?

The final nail in the coffin (an accurate description), was when I walked into the bathroom. What this complex had done, was take a stand up shower, and made it accessible to both the full and the half bathroom. One door on either side. Privacy? Pshaw. Not to mention there was no upper wall between them, so you could hear every little sound the other side was making. It was like living in a dorm all over again. And even those showers had curtains.

Needless to say my roommate's and my tastes were not "eccentric" enough to take on this panic room of an apartment, so we moved on. Wiser. More cynical. In the end we have become the most discerning of Craigslist house hunters. Wary of every cozy, eccentric, urban, charming, and affordable description.